Idea of Positivity: Not positive enough!

Last week while we poor Delhities were battling the heat wave and showing solidarity through funny takes at Facebook and twitter, I was made to book an appointment with my gynecologist, which I was conveniently procrastinating for almost a month. 

If you are not in a mood of getting paid for your share of global warming, metro makes the best sense and avoiding the peak office hours can also reward you with a seat. Carefully avoiding the reserved ones, I got the most loved corner seat as I was planning to catch on some sleep during the one and a half hour journey.

But my plans were not going to work as I was joined by one of my closest friends at the very next station. Although I never mind sacrificing my sleep for a lovely company and that too when we were meeting after a long time, probably a year. After few doses of formal interactions, I heard her sobbing about the extremely distressing circumstances she found herself trapped in. I was a little surprised to know the situation as she had always been the confident one, usually the ones who seem to have solutions to every problem. We seriously used to respect and adore her for that.

As the sobbing continued, I heard her complaining how everyone around her was advising her to be ‘a little positive’ and that it was simply not working. I found myself spending the next thirty minutes explaining her why the mere idea of positivity will not work and she had to take some stand, and how the other people can keep the idea of her not being positive at bay. I pitied her for her situation, and I pitied her more for choosing the wrong counsel. 

For once and all, we have to understand that positivity may be a way or potential tool to nourish the broken hopes and dreams but definitely not a solution to anxiety or any distressing situations in life.

Even after she got off the cart, it all kept looming on my mind.

Are we not being a little too decisive and hopping the fence immediately inspite of helping the person in question to do the same, when we simply say 'try some positivity'?

My always brimming curiosity made me google the facts and I came to know that we females, are actually more prone to depression and other anxiety related issues which might be quite damaging to some souls than the other. Science blamed our erratic hormones and self blaming tendencies for the same. Very few would admit it, but we all are a little bit insecure and there lays the foundation stone of all stress and anxiety, which cultivated over a period of time takes shape of something more fatal for our core.

It can be anything- from academic and professional performance, need to get acceptance from in-laws, unstable finances, incompetence to manage professional and personal lives, or simply a non supportive work environment. 

The fact is that life not only throws the losses but also the healing resources. Many of us are fortunate enough to have strong support systems which suck out the negativity creeping in us. A partner who steps in, a manager who understands that you can get sick at times or a reliable friend who does not advise positivity alone, but also shows how it is done and eventually hangs around.

While some of us don't have the fortune of those replenishing resources and self exhaustion takes over. Every missed opportunity and every snub from a relative force us to question our capabilities, often sending messages like 'You are failing at it terribly'. Listening “Try some positivity” acts like salt on the wounds. No matter how honest the intentions are, those words are like grief upon grief. Its like implying your vision is flawed, just keep on going until one day when everything would fall in place and you would actually start living.

It's like being trapped in a dark room and people telling you there is light outside but not showing you how to open the window. The mere description of light won't help. Saying to imagine it simply does not work, especially for someone who has lost the idea of light. Demonstrating the light of love is on the other hand, not just telling how the light actually looks like, but offering to absorb some of the exhaustion/darkness and actually leading her the path towards that window.

Merely pointing towards the ladder is not enough. It's more of holding the ladder and keeping it steady for her while she makes her way up.

What did I do? 
Well I saved her number and put it in speed dial and try to make time for at least a weekly chat about how she was progressing, and yes I made to that appointment and was advised for some tests and ultrasounds before the lady with stethoscope could come to any verdict. So that demands a second visit! 

Image Source: facebook and Google

Someone....

Someone was peeping from the other side of mirror,
Someone strange,unknown, fighter and savior.
Someone whose dreams were still not dead,
Someone who was untouched by the influence of others.
Someone who may be exhausted but has not defeated,
Someone who need not camouflage her sorrows behind laughters.
Someone who was not lost in the world of responsibilities,
Someone who needs not seek music to find peace.

The one who was standing on threshold fueling the gears of strength,
Urging me to take the plunge and dive into the world of my faith!

LikeoMania: The new age Disease

A quite fateful Sunday!

After a much grilling week at work, I decided to go out to refresh my spirits and called sister dearest.

My idea of instant rejuvenation would have included a walk in a park or just a hot cup of brewing coffee with a nice book. But of course that would not be on her list so finally after considering few options which we had; we headed to the nearest mall. The new age hangout place which turns into the holidaying spot every weekend.

2 hours later….

After strolling the maze of designer showrooms and other picturesque outlets, I found my legs making way to the coffee shop in an attempt to distant my brain from the display of new age fashion. Each of the outlets had almost similar designs, someone of them quoting outrageous prices for the same.

4000 and that too for a cotton shirt, well that’s quite affordable for a nation which has recently raised its minimum wage from 137 to 160 a day!

As ‘R’ and I ascended the escalators, two girls appeared who were trying to click their selfies and started making horrific faces as if those expressions were really adorable. But they are, in fact these pictures would soon be uploaded to the social networking sites and may even attract good number of likes. The definitions of beauty and memories have been terribly hit by the digitalization of our world.

I could recall that when I was younger, pictures were more about moments and feelings. Thanks to my mom, who has a deep infatuation with keeping pictures and going over them atleast twice in a month, we still have pictures from our childhood as well as growing days. Some of them are good while others have funny and awkward versions of me. Being an introvert since childhood, most of the pictures have me in the background with my siblings at the front, and others where I am in focus have me being smothered by the loving relatives.

R glares at me as if accusing me of observing those girls and finally blurts out,” What are you thinking?”

I replied in my oh so intelligent tone, “Arey, I was just thinking to put my old pictures on Facebook. What do you think, how many likes would I get?”

She snorts, “Thanks to Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook has not got any Dislike Button. Otherwise it would have been death of half of the girls.”

We laughed out loud like crazy on our own joke and made way towards our destination.